“Surrender to win” is a phrase that doesn’t make much sense at first glance. If we do understand it, it’s usually received as a pretty unpalatable proposition. As recovery literature says, “Who cares to admit complete defeat? Practically none of us…”
The literature also says that defiance is the chief characteristic of most alcoholics. So it makes perfect sense that we are resistant to this spiritual maxim at first – and for some of us, resistant for a very long time.
It probably won’t take too long for us to examine our lives before recovery and realize there are few instances of our resistance benefitting anybody, if there are any such instances at all. With such a track record, why do so many of us balk at surrender?
Why don’t we see it as the bridge to freedom that it truly is? Probably because we are intelligent people, who yearn to be self-reliant. We struggle to run our own lives and set the world as we would have it be.
Maybe we even had some good ideas along the way, but we can see how all that ended up when we came seeking recovery. We were broken people, trapped in the prison of our disease.
Jaywalker Lodge offers a solution to the all-consuming disease of addiction. This disease is treatable, and treatment works. The key is understanding that effective treatment is not a consequence of our past mistakes.
Rather, effective treatment is – and it must be experienced as – the promise of a bright and hopeful future in recovery. If all our efforts for control never paid off, maybe it is time to consider giving up the reins and giving in to the promise our future holds.
Find Your Freedom
Those who make this very personal and logical conclusion soon find that when we let go of control and give it to our higher power – or even just to the program of recovery – we are welcomed into the firm and loving hand of a much better-equipped rein-handler.
We longed to be free but couldn’t get there ourselves. The 12-Steps, our higher power, and our sober community usher us to freedom, one day at a time.
We are smart, caring people who couldn’t seem to behave intelligently or lovingly. The 12-Steps, our higher power, and our sober community patiently teach us how to finally employ our intelligence and love in practical, helpful ways.
We longed to control people, places, and things to achieve our desired result. When we relinquish this control, we find that people, places, and things are ours to love and help – nothing more.
When we surrender, we really do win. And so does everyone else around us. We no longer need things to be any certain way. We can be balanced, peaceful, and loving no matter what is going on with people, places, and things. Suddenly our lives are calmer, fuller, and more purposeful and productive than ever before.
We didn’t need to struggle, control, or fight. As the literature says, “we cease fighting everything and everyone.” At that moment of surrender, everything and everyone is allowed to be as they are, and we become free.
We are free to serve our higher power and those around us with love and kindness. Our lives fill up with peace and purpose where there was only struggle and selfishness before.
Let It Go
Letting go can be hard to do, even for those well-acquainted with spirituality – but it is such a valuable skill to practice. When we let go, we allow things to be taken care of by their proper author.
The world is not ours to manage – it is ours to experience and help. People are not ours to change or control or use. People are in our life only to be loved, encouraged, and helped – especially helped. In service, we will find greater joy than in even the most successful of selfish acts.
Life is not necessarily ours to direct. The ideas and plans we have for our lives may in truth be selling ourselves well short of the life our higher power and the 12-Step program has in store for us.
Our true path may be missed entirely by our insistence we know best. If we are the highest power our life knows, we are almost certain to not learn or grow to our potential.
We would never know what beauty awaited us if we never surrendered. We would never really know total peace and participation in life if we didn’t let go and learn to flow with it. We would never get to experience the joys of life with our community, friends, and family if we are always trying to control them.
We would never get to feel the peace of all the places life will take us if we continue struggling to dominate which places we go and how those places should be. If things are what we strive for, we may always feel a sense of lack – a “never enough.” However, if we let go of that control, we just might find abundance, beauty, and joy in giving.
If circumstances are up to us to direct and arrange, we may always find ourselves falling short and being unhappy. If we can just let go of dictating our circumstances, we may discover that those circumstances change – or that they are exactly how they are supposed to be.
Surrendering to win sounds like a strange proposition, but it is deeply rooted in truth. Are you ready?
It’s time to surrender to win. Give up the fight and let Jaywalker Lodge help you find the freedom you deserve. Our clients achieve success in recovery when other paths have failed. We’ll be here for you every step of the way. Call us now at (866) 529-9255.
As Chief Executive Officer Bill provides leadership and manage all day-to-day operations of Jaywalker Lodge, an extended care residential addiction treatment program for adult men.
