June 19, 2021

Men’s Issues: I Don’t Want To Lose My Friends

Posted by Jaywalker in Alumni, Support
friends in recovery

It may or may not be surprising to hear that one of the most common concerns for those of us who are new to recovery is the potential loss of friends. We may fear that our friends will abandon us once we adopt the recovery lifestyle or, on the flip side, that we will have to leave certain friends behind to ensure our own recovery. Either way you slice it, friendships tend to cause a lot of worry in early recovery. Friendships are normally a happy part of life, so it seems strange that such a good thing could make us hesitant about our own recovery. True friendships should be able to endure whatever lifestyle changes the people involved make, especially when it means life or death for one of them. But sadly, this is not always the case. Hence, potentially losing friendships becomes an issue of real concern for…

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June 17, 2021

I Miss Live Meetings. What Can I Do?

Posted by Jaywalker in Recovery, Support
live meetings

Wherever we are in our recovery journey, meetings are incredibly important. This still holds true, even in strange times like these. Live and in-person meetings may not be available in our area, or we may not be comfortable attending the ones that are ongoing for a number of reasons. As alcoholics and addicts in recovery, we know that we need to attend meetings. We likely even want to hit a few meetings. But what if we can’t for one reason or another? If we find ourselves missing live meetings or unable to make as many meetings as we’d like to, there are several things we can do now and keep in mind for the future. Meetings Mean a Lot Meetings are part of the “triangle of recovery”: Unity, Service, Recovery. The unity includes meetings and fellowship. We simply need one another on this journey — none of us recover alone. Meetings…

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June 16, 2021

The Importance of Giving Back in Recovery Treatment

Posted by Jaywalker in Insights, Support
giving back

From a purely medical standpoint, altruism does not seem like an appropriate treatment for alcoholism and addiction. However, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the 12-Step program has an intense focus on altruism and just so happens to be among the most effective, successful, and versatile treatment methods for alcoholism and addiction ever devised. Adding altruism to recovery treatment increases the chances that one can get and stay recovered, as proven by the success of those who work the 12-Step program. Of course, altruism alone is not enough. The specific brand of altruism taught in the 12-Step program must be engaged with while continuing to work the entirety of the recovery program. Medical treatments, therapy, and psychiatry along with physical, mental, and emotional health are still important factors, too. Being that alcoholism and addiction is a disease of a three-fold nature — 1) the physical allergy, 2)…

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June 15, 2021

Why “Meeting Makers Make It”

Posted by Jaywalker in Recovery, Support
meetings

Those of us who are new to recovery have surely heard a lot about the importance of 12 Step meetings. The recovery community talks about them all the time. Some of us go to a meeting every single day — maybe even more than one! Some will only hit a meeting whenever they feel like they “need a meeting.” Everyone has a different opinion on meetings, but one thing is clear: meetings are a big part of the 12 Step program of recovery. In fact, the three sides of the triangle symbol of recovery are Unity, Service, and Fellowship. Fellowship is another word for meetings. Meetings are important, no matter what anyone says. The book Alcoholics Anonymous makes that clear. So important, in fact, that “meeting makers make it” has become a familiar recovery saying. But meetings aren’t the most popular part of the 12 Step program. Many people view them…

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June 12, 2021

The Gift of Responsibility

Posted by Jaywalker in Insights, Support
responsibility

Responsibility is often overlooked when it comes to treating alcoholism and addiction. Jaywalker Lodge understands that freedom is proportional to the responsibility we accept for our lives. And freedom is what recovery is all about — freedom from alcoholism and addiction, freedom from our grosser handicaps, and freedom to live a life of happiness, joy, and purpose. Freedom is everything in recovery, but freedom only grows if the responsibility we’re willing to shoulder grows. Far too often, the very concept of responsibility has a hard time sticking in our world. Not only is responsibility often disdained by alcoholics and addicts like us, but most of the people in our lives (sometimes including those who wish to help us) are unwilling to trust us with responsibility. We have to admit this is fair, given that in our disease we are very seldom responsible for much else besides pain and destruction. Through…

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June 10, 2021

Yesterday’s Home Runs Don’t Count in Today’s Game

Posted by Jaywalker in Alumni, Recovery
resting on your laurels

Anybody who has spent time in recovery or read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous enough has heard the phrase “resting on our laurels.” This is an old saying based on Greek and Roman culture, where winners of competitions were granted crowns of laurel leaves (laurels). Resting on our laurels is when we are too easy on ourselves, counting on our past successes to carry us through the present and the future. A modern version of this saying is “Yesterday’s home runs don’t count in today’s game.” The meaning is the same — our past successes are wonderful, but they aren’t enough to live fully in the present or keep fear of the future at bay. In recovery, sayings like this take on a slightly new meaning. What they come to mean in the rooms of recovery would be something like “The work you did for your recovery yesterday won’t…

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June 9, 2021

How Can I Change Everything?

Posted by Jaywalker in Lifestyle, Recovery
change

When we are new in recovery, we often hear the silly slogan “The only thing you have to change is everything.” It’s said in jest, but it’s also true to a large degree. For those of us who are new to recovery, this can seem like a tall order. Never mind the fact that we’re new in recovery and so much is already changing, but we have to change everything? There’s a lot of helpful information that we can learn about this phrase and what the intense goal of changing “everything” really means.The Goal: Everything First, we need to examine this goal closely. Changing everything is a lot! Is this something we genuinely want for ourselves, something we feel pressure to do, or was it something somebody told us? We need to look at the source of this goal and do some serious contemplating. The reason that the recovery community tells…

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June 8, 2021

Closeness in This Time of Distance

Posted by Jaywalker in Recovery, Support
community

It’s far too easy to feel totally isolated and disconnected these days. Many of us have spent a long time separated from our loved ones, families, friends, and recovery community. We’ve been apart for a long time — and whether we’re in recovery or not, human beings are not meant to live in isolation. We are social creatures. We need closeness and togetherness. The society of our fellow man is a vital, necessary, and beautiful part of life. The list of benefits gleaned from spending time with other people and the incredible gifts that come from endeavoring to help those people is simply immense. It’s practically the key to a full and happy life, especially for those of us in recovery. There have been some significant obstacles to experiencing closeness and community lately. Let’s take a look at some ways that we can still be close to our people and…

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June 5, 2021

The Society of Our Fellows

Posted by Jaywalker in Alumni, Support
community in recovery

Isolation and “Lone Wolf syndrome” are extremely common modes of operation for alcoholics and addicts. The reason why going solo is so popular among people like us is complicated. It’s partly because we are defiant, independent people, and partly because we are often very emotionally sensitive people. We like to do our own thing and we get frustrated when something stands in our way, so we go it alone. We also like to try and feel good all the time, and many of our actions, habits, and behaviors can cause harm to those around us. We don’t like hurting people or making them sad, so we find it easier to live alone as much as possible. The problem is that going it alone does harm in its own way, too. We can’t avoid our way into or out of relationships. No matter how independent, isolated, or alone we make ourselves,…

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June 3, 2021

Will I Always Inventory About the Same Things?

Posted by Jaywalker in Recovery, Support
personal inventory

Hopefully, if you’ve been in recovery for even a little bit of time, you’ve gotten busy with the 12 Steps. If this is the case, you’ve likely encountered the 4th Step and the 10th Step. These are commonly referred to as the personal “inventory” steps. Even if we’re new to the 12-Step program, we’ve probably heard a lot about the inventory steps — including a lot of mixed reviews. Some people dread inventory, while others swear by it. We can only assume that if it’s part of the 12 Steps, it isn’t optional if we want to recover and live a happy life. Nor could it possibly be something to fear or dread, or even remotely harmful, because the 12 Steps are designed to help us find freedom and recovery. What seems to be the biggest reason that personal inventory gets a bad rap is that sometimes things can get…

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