Introducing Our Monthly Series on Men’s Issues

Table of Contents

Jaywalker Lodge is a place where men who chronically struggle to maintain long-term recovery can come to be helped with the specific hurdles they are facing. Not all alcoholics and addicts are exactly the same. But all alcoholics and addicts do have some key experiences, similarities, and common feelings that help us unite and relate to one another – things that a non-alcoholic would likely not understand.

Likewise for men, not all of us are the same. But we do have similarities in our experiences, tribulations, and struggles, at least enough that we can relate to one another. While each of us has unique issues, we also all share some trouble areas as well. Some of these issues are more common than we may care to admit, and some are so private, we fear admitting them at all.

But our job at Jaywalker Lodge is to help you clear up the things that are preventing you from living a whole, happy life in recovery. Therefore, each month we are going to address one of the most common issues we see plaguing men who struggle to stay in recovery.

Changing Perceptions

There are many mindsets and societal pressures that can prevent men from starting on the sober path altogether, or private pressures that men are taught to face alone. The solution to alcoholism is never as simple as “man up,” an idea that has cost many men their lives.

We must look closely into the places we fear to look, and bravely engage with the things we would rather ignore. It’s not always an easy task, but it’s never one that we are asked to take alone. A tiny bit of courage, a little bit of faith, and a whole lot of love can spell the difference between an alcoholic death and a recovered life.

In American society, men are often taught to be “tough” at the cost of denying their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This age-old formula is a surefire way to poison ourselves from the inside out. Repression and denial only exacerbate the relentless desire to pour more alcohol and drugs into our systems to kill the pain caused by the things we’re holding onto.

Simply saying “Don’t be sad” or “Don’t be afraid” does absolutely nothing to fix the causes of our sadness or fear. We curse ourselves as weaklings for feeling low when it is very human to do so. In short, many of the societal pressures and cultural messages that men receive all our lives are killing us.

It’s Time for Men to Share Their Emotions

To keep everything inside is simply a terrible idea. Life is made unnecessarily difficult by trying to go it alone. When we are willing to try living as part of a community, we find every area of our life improving and filling up with meaning and love. When we bottle up how we feel, we make our inner turmoil even worse. Men do have emotions – and denying them only serves to increase our pain.

When we work the 12-Steps and talk openly with other men who understand us, we are able to learn how to deal with our emotions in a healthy way. We learn how to have peace of mind. We learn how to conquer our fears, not just deny them. We learn how to live in harmony with ourselves and the world. All of this comes to us by practicing the 12-Steps and living a recovery-centered life.

A Place for Men to Heal

At Jaywalker Lodge, we are specifically in the business of helping men save and restore their lives. We strive to help men who have historically struggled to achieve long-term sobriety – despite their deep desire to do so – achieve a life of love, meaning, joy, and abundance. We cannot in good conscience support any ideas and cultural norms that help make us miserable or kill us.

We want to begin loosening the grip these destructive messages have on the way men live and conduct themselves. We are part of an active, involved community of sober men. There are no secrets among us, and no shortage of people always willing to help a brother. The more active these men stay in recovery, the more they are able to spread their goodwill and good works throughout the larger community.

We see it work every day. Men learn how to be intimate with each other, sharing their fears, hopes, and dreams. They communicate openly and honestly, and they help each other grow in kindness and love. As they do so, each of their lives is improved immensely. By doing away with the notions that showing love is a weakness and talking about your fears and dreams is for lesser men, we have seen the lives of men and the world around them grow better.

Hopefully, now you can understand why it is so important to us that we discuss and correct these troubling messages and cultural strongholds in male society. Men have feelings. It is not only okay for us to talk to other men about how we feel, but it is encouraged.

By letting go of the negative ideas of masculinity that are reinforced by society, many men who would have otherwise struggled and died alone may find reserves of true strength and joy in the company of other like-minded men. Join us as we explore these opportunities together and begin the healing process.

Men who struggle with alcoholism and addiction are often unable to save their lives on self-will alone. We need each other. The men at Jaywalker lodge know what it’s like to wrestle with the mixed messages between asking for help and struggling to recover on your own. Join us in brotherhood and community, so you can experience the joy, togetherness, and freedom from alcoholism that we have. Call us today at (866) 529-9255.

author avatar
Stefan Bate, MA, LAC, CCTP Chief Clinical Officer
Stefan Bate, BA, MA, LAC holds a Master's Degree in Applied Psychology from Regis University and is a Licensed Addiction Counselor in the state of Colorado. Stefan has wide-ranging experience in the field of addiction recovery including: working as a recovery coach, therapist, and program director.

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