Cutting Through the Fog

Clarity during Recovery

Once we are freed from active alcoholism and addiction, we often feel a new clarity and vibrancy come over us. No longer beholden to our disease, we see the world a lot more clearly after working our 12-Steps and becoming a member of the recovery community at Jaywalker Lodge. We find inner peace no longer a stranger, we are able to think more clearly, and our emotions are steadier and less volatile. Yet, just like waves, our emotions sometimes come and go, and that newfound sense of clarity may not always be with us. Sometimes we can get overcome by fatigue and a “fog” settles over the new pair of glasses through which we see our life in recovery. Perhaps we let ourselves get complacent, as we misplace our gratitude for the wonderful things in our life. We get used to them, and forget the days when we prayed for…

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Staying Focused, Yet Flexible

Focus

Sometimes what we planned for doesn’t always work out the way we thought it would. It’s important to be flexible with your routine. Call (866) 529-9255.

Men’s Issues: Fear of Intimacy

men's fear of intimacy

Men in our society — and especially men who struggle with alcoholism and addiction — are trained to “tough it out” or “man up” or similar archaic nonsense. Because of the subculture surrounding abusive drinking and drug use, men are not allowed to have feelings, get close to people, or open up. Men are told in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that they cannot be themselves. It isn’t masculine to have emotions. It’s not manly to have close male friends — we can only have “bros” and “dudes” that we “hang” or “chill” with. We’re not supposed to have close companions with whom we can share our hopes, fears, and dreams. And as far as relationships and significant others go, forget about it. We can’t tell a person who we’re dating that we have fears, or they’ll never see us as manly again. Thank heavens these ridiculous and destructive attitudes are…

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Men’s Issues: The Hole in the Doughnut

Men’s Issues: The Hole in the Doughnut

At Jaywalker Lodge, we help men who struggle with achieving long-term recovery from alcoholism and addiction. We particularly seek to reach the ones who can’t seem to stay in recovery, despite the honest desire to do so. These are the Jaywalkers, just like we were. By being part of this specific population of alcoholics and addicts, and recognizing what has helped and continues to help men like us, we have identified techniques, actions, and ways of thinking that are effective. We have also been able to recognize common themes and dangerous patterns that seem to plague men who struggle to maintain sobriety. We would like to take time to address these men’s issues and share useful information and insights. This month, we have selected an extremely common fear amongst men — fear of being the hole in the doughnut. What Does a Doughnut Have to Do With Me? This fear…

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Finding Serenity in Calamity

Finding Serenity in Calamity

No ocean, no matter how beautiful, is calm all the time. There will inevitably be storms. But when we sailed the ocean of life in our active alcoholism and addiction, we were sailing with a boatload of extra trouble. Now that we have entered recovery at Jaywalker Lodge, our ship is no longer making things worse. The 12-Step program and active recovery have taught us how to be better sailors and shipbuilders, so to speak. We see the ocean of life for the beautiful thing it really is. But this doesn’t mean that there will never be storms. It does, perhaps, mean we’ll be causing less of them, but life does not stop being life just because we’re sober. We simply, finally, have a design for living well and better that really works. Prepare for Rough Seas Though calamity will eventually come, we can meet it with a better attitude,…

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Don’t Give Up On Yourself

It’s common for those of us who are new to recovery to have low opinions of ourselves. We are still healing from our active alcoholism and addiction, and we may find it difficult to shake a bleak view of who we are and the future we expect to have. But one major key to happy and successful recovery is embracing a hopeful outlook, and this includes a kinder view of ourselves. Recovery isn’t about paying the price for our past — the past was punishment enough. Recovery is about righting what we can, healing as best we can, and having hope for the future. When we keep beating ourselves up for the past, or for not being who we want to be, we lose our motivation to stay in recovery. Nobody wants to help someone they don’t like and if we expect to enjoy long-term recovery, we really need to…

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Living A Healthy Life in Recovery

Living A Healthy Life in Recovery

A healthy life is something that is largely foreign to most of us who spent much of our lives struggling with active alcoholism and addiction. Life consisted of adhering to the will of our destructive disease. When we first get sober, we often have a lot of learning to do about healing our minds, bodies, and spirits. Alcoholism and addiction is a three-fold disease, and the 12-Steps begin to repair, heal, and educate us in all those areas. We learn how to calm our minds, steady our emotions, stop abusing our bodies, and uplift and awaken our spirits. The healing begins the moment we start working the 12-Steps or attend our first Jaywalker meeting. As we continue 12-Step work, meetings, and service work in our recovery we find that they continue to help us heal and grow. Yet because we are still not used to healthy ways of living and…

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Introducing Our Monthly Series on Men’s Issues

Introducing Our Monthly Series on Men’s Issues

Jaywalker Lodge is a place where men who chronically struggle to maintain long-term recovery can come to be helped with the specific hurdles they are facing. Not all alcoholics and addicts are exactly the same. But all alcoholics and addicts do have some key experiences, similarities, and common feelings that help us unite and relate to one another – things that a non-alcoholic would likely not understand. Likewise for men, not all of us are the same. But we do have similarities in our experiences, tribulations, and struggles, at least enough that we can relate to one another. While each of us has unique issues, we also all share some trouble areas as well. Some of these issues are more common than we may care to admit, and some are so private, we fear admitting them at all. But our job at Jaywalker Lodge is to help you clear up…

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Addressing Chronic Relapse

Addressing Chronic Relapse

The journey from active alcoholism and addiction to sobriety and recovery is different for everyone. Some people are ready and able to get a firm hold on recovery after their first try. That is truly a wonderful blessing. But for many of us who suffer from the disease, it’s not always that easy. Relapse is by no means an uncommon part of many people’s process toward achieving long-term sobriety. Some people stumble once or twice and then they get it – for others, it’s a much bumpier road. Slipping after making a beginning doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with us. It doesn’t mean we’ll never get sober. But it may signify that there is a need for some change in our approach. Break the Relapse Cycle Chronic relapse plagues many men who truly want to get sober and live a recovered life. It does not have to be a…

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Learning to Accept Love

Learning to Accept Love

This title alone may have already made you uncomfortable, which is a common response for alcoholics and addicts. The word “love” is a complicated thing. We associate it with something we tried, but could never get right – a word that reminds us of the people we’ve hurt. Many of us don’t recall much love involved with our past in addiction. We certainly don’t ever think about whether or not we love ourselves. Allowing ourselves to be loved seems like a silly question when we don’t even feel like we deserve to be loved. The truth is good news or bad news, depending on your mindset. You deserve to be loved. Love is something that all of us have, and all of us feel. Alcoholic or not, everyone has love to give and deserves to receive love as well. It’s a huge concept and a massive feeling, and accepting love…

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