Tag: Sobriety

Newfound Sobriety and Loneliness: How We Can Build Better and Healthier Friendships

depressed man sitting in dark room

Shortly after we enter recovery, it can seem like we’ve lost a lot of friends in the process. Our “party” groups, the people we associated with, and the environments that we spent time in suddenly become triggers to avoid. However, it is important to remember that these friendships were built on the house of cards that is addiction. A friendship that is contingent on the presence of a substance is not a friendship at all. This temporary “loneliness” can be triggering for many people during the early stages of recovery. Our day-to-day lives may seem a little slower, more stable, and more predictable. These are all good things! However, our intuitive, kneejerk reaction to removing ourselves from certain environments and limiting contact with specific friend groups for our own health can be difficult to manage. Reentering the World in Recovery  One of the more difficult aspects of leaving a treatment…

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Dating in Recovery: But What If They Don’t Accept My Sobriety?

You match with someone on a dating app and they ask you out for drinks. Uh-oh! Dating in recovery comes with some social obstacles if people aren’t aware of your sober lifestyle. From miscommunication to outright rejection, navigating the dating world in recovery can be stressful or even downright dangerous. Here are some tips on how to date successfully without giving up your sobriety. Wait to Date Many recovery centers suggest waiting until after the first year of recovery to go on dates. This is because the first year is always the most vital part of the recovery process. In early recovery, you are at your most vulnerable. During this time, you’re still trying to get your life together. You’re developing routines and mastering healthy habits. You’re learning how to properly cope with stress and navigate the difficult parts of your life. While finding love can be extremely fulfilling, it…

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Fun in Recovery

fun in recovery

One of the biggest misconceptions about life in recovery is that all the fun stops. Suddenly, we aren’t drinking or using anymore and life will never be fun again. Let’s be honest here for a second. Was it really any fun being an active alcoholic and addict? The pain, the chaos, the wreckage, the drama, the constant need to feed the beast on our back — sounds like a total blast! It’s time to get real about this idea that life stops being fun when recovery starts. Life stopped being fun when we crossed that invisible line into alcoholism and addiction. Now that we’re in recovery, life can actually be fun again! Let Go of the Past This might seem unrelated to fun in recovery, but it has a lot more to do with it than you may think. One of the common roadblocks to enjoying our life in recovery is…

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What Is the Most Important Part of My Recovery?

12 steps

For alcoholics and addicts in recovery, whether they are brand new or already familiar with the 12-Step program and lifestyle, this is a fairly common question. After all, recovery is a new way of life and considerable experience. There are many facets and moving parts, and each one holds much to teach us. The longer we live the 12-Steps, the more we find to learn and explore. There is so much that becomes open to us as we journey in recovery. The possibilities are practically limitless, just like our future in recovery. But with so many wonderful and rewarding practices, what is the most essential part of our healing? Is There Just One Important Thing? Everyone seems to have a different answer when asked about the most important part of recovery — partly because we excel at or gravitate toward different things as individuals. Some will dive deep into meditation,…

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Men’s Issues: Being a Wet Blanket

sober

Alcoholism and addiction can affect anyone, regardless of age, wealth, gender, race, or religion. The disease affects us all the same, though our individual symptoms may be unique. Luckily, the solution for alcoholism and addiction is the same for all of us as well —  the 12-Steps of recovery. They can help any person suffering from alcoholism and addiction if they are taken.  Our common disease and common solution unite us, for at the end of the day we are all one, and we have more similarities than we have differences. However, at Jaywalker Lodge, we treat male alcoholics and addicts. Over time, we have noticed specific issues that seem to impact men. This month, we are addressing the fear of being a wet blanket once we are sober, and how we can combat this issue in our recovery. Taking an Honest Look at Our Past A lot of us…

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Why “Healing” and “Patience” Can Be Hard Words to Hear

Why “Healing” and “Patience” Can Be Hard Words to Hear

For most alcoholics and addicts, healing and patience are words that can leave us feeling uncomfortable. We aren’t always so sure that our wounds can be healed, whether they’re physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. Patience isn’t something we’re very familiar with or fond of either. But it’s important, no matter where we are in our journey of recovery at Jaywalker Lodge, that we believe healing is possible. We must do our best to keep hope alive so that we can be healed. However great our pain or suffering, within the 12-Steps there are many tools and practices that will help us begin to heal. This is where patience comes in as well. Breaking the Cycle When we get sick, we go to the doctor. It isn’t often that we leave the doctor’s office feeling better instantly. More likely, the doctor gives us medicine that we need to take a few…

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Dealing With Negative Emotions in Recovery

Dealing With Negative Emotions in Recovery

Negative feelings and emotions are a common part of life. They happen to everyone. Sometimes there’s a legitimate reason, but other times they just happen. Maybe we’re just having a bad day, or we struggle with mental and emotional health on a regular basis, or perhaps something serious has happened to us. Whatever the cause or duration, negative feelings are a natural part of life. For many of us who struggle with alcoholism and addiction, these negative emotions can present a significant danger to our recovery. Addicts and alcoholics like us are often prone to getting carried away by negative emotions, hurt feelings, or other types of depression. Too often, we fail to keep ourselves safe from common pitfalls and the desire to escape negative feelings can push us perilously close to relapse. This doesn’t have to be the case for us anymore. There are many in the recovery community…

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Am I Allowed To Be Happy?

Am I Allowed To Be Happy?

For most of the time we spent in active alcoholism and addiction, we weren’t very happy. The briefest moments of having enough of our drug of choice to get us through another moment quickly faded upon reflection that we might be trapped living in addicted torment for the rest of our lives. When genuinely good things did happen, most of us were numb or needed another drink or fix to properly “celebrate.” But we never really felt celebratory for long. The dark moments would always come, leading us to misremember the past as something totally awful dread the future as something completely bleak. Alcoholics and addicts like us have a troubled relationship with happiness. Many of us have judged ourselves as unworthy of happiness because of the actions, feelings, and traumas that perpetuated and endured in our addiction. We must try to see that we are not bad people. Alcoholism and…

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How Can I Stay Safe During Summer Parties?

How Can I Stay Safe During Summer Parties?

Most alcoholics and addicts fear that when they enter recovery, the fun stops. That simply isn’t true. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says “we are not a glum lot… we absolutely insist on enjoying life.” It also says that we “can go anywhere on this earth where other free men may go without disaster, provided [we] remain willing to maintain a certain simple attitude.” That attitude is to keep in our minds the principles we learn in the 12-Steps of recovery. We insist on having fun, and we can go places freely as long as we keep our minds on the foundations of recovery. Social events increase during certain times of the year, like the holidays – and now summertime is upon us. There are pool parties, vacations, and social gatherings galore. So it might be helpful to remember a few simple things to stay safe and help maintain…

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Sobriety and Anonymity in the Time of Digital Recovery

Sobriety and Anonymity in the Time of Digital Recovery

In the era of self-quarantine and lockdowns, nearly every aspect of our daily lives has been turned upside down. However long this crisis lasts, we have to remain adaptable to the “new normal.” Life doesn’t stop, but it does often change. Now it has changed again and for many of us, the majority of our lives are now dependent on the very technology we previously used to distract us from our lives. Work, school, and socializing have all gone digital for most. Recovery is no different – especially for those of us who have been in recovery for a while. Meetings, time with our sponsor, and fellowshipping are all vital and beloved parts of our lives. Thankfully, though many meeting places and coffee shops have shut down, recovery has managed to flourish online. Many recovery facilities are offering digital services, such as Jaywalker Lodge’s online alumni meetings. Thanks to internet…

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